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How Behavior Develops some important principles Behavior is strengthened or weakened by its consequences. Behavior ultimately responds better to positive consequences. Whether a behavior has been punished or reinforced is known only by the course of that behavior in the future. Behavior is largely a product of its immediate environment.
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 Read detailed explanations, examples, and role-playing experiences in the parent's manual to raising children in a positive way, The Power of Positive Parenting. |
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| Principle Two |
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Behavior ultimately responds better to positive consequences. |
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My eighth-grade educated mother understood this principle very well and said it to me many, many times as a boy: "A cup of honey will draw more flies than a bucket of gall." Despite this age-old truth, the tendency of parents is to use negative, coercive, or punitive means to stop or eliminate a behavior. |
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The better way, the way that has more lasting and beneficial results, is to take advantage of the many opportunities that occur every day to attach a positive consequence to an appropriate behavior. |
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That positive consequence can come in the form of a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back, a word of encouragement and praise, a smile, a wink, a token in a jar or a point on a good behavior record. |
| A positive home is one where parents smile at their children, laugh with their children, have lots of positive and appropriate physical interactions with their children, and talk to their children in pleasant, supportive, nonjudgmental ways. |
| But what is really wonderful about this approach is that when used appropriately and consistently, the incidence of inappropriate behavior goes down dramatically while the incidence of appropriate behavior increases dramatically and maintains. |
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There is an economy in child rearing, a price we must pay. Either we remain solvent with positives or we are forever in debt and even bankrupted with negatives; positives that produce low-risk families or negatives that produce high-risk families. |
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