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Applying Behavioral Principles in the home and family Clearly communicate your expectations to your children. Ignore inconsequential behavior. Selectively reinforce appropriate behaviors. Stop, then redirect inappropriate behavior. Stay close to your children.
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 Read detailed explanations, examples, and role-playing experiences in the parent's manual to raising children in a positive way, The Power of Positive Parenting. |
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| Strategy One |
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Clearly communicate your expectations to your children. |
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Clearly communicate your expectations to your children. This includes a clear description of those behaviors that will get your attention. This is typically taught best in a role-playing setting. |
| At the outset, make certain your children understand exactly what you expect of them. I'm continually amazed, as I visit with parents and their children who are having problems, at how unsure children are of what their parents expect, and how those expectations change given the mood of the situation. |
| When the child says to a parent, "I didn't know what you wanted me to do!" and the parent angrily responds, "What do you mean you didn't know what I wanted? What are you, stupid?" I know there is a serious communication problem concerning expectations. |
| Suppose, for example, that you expect your children to come to the dinner table when called. Rather than simply saying, "When I call you for dinner, I want you to come immediately. Now, do you understand that?" Instead, say, "When I call you for dinner, I want you to come immediately. So when do we expect you to come to the table for dinner?" |
| All of this shouldn't take more than a few minutes. Don't drag it out. Make it brief and make it crisp then let the children be on their way. Don't be concerned if the children don't agree with you. Agreeing is not that important, assuming that your expectations are reasonable. But their understanding of your expectations is important. |
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